Featured Blog Post #1
Why Attractive People Aren't as Funny
Funny people are all around, and so are attractive people. But for some reason, the two traits can’t really coincide. But why? As much as I wish there was a simple answer for this question, unfortunately it gets pretty philosophical. To figure it out, I had to look into the psychology of humor as a whole, as well as the societal perceptions of attractiveness.
What Makes People Funny?
After hours of deliberation in my kitchen, I realized that all kinds of funny can be boiled down to one fundamental principal: relatability. You laugh when your friends tell an embarrassing story about themselves, because you relate to the human emotion of embarrassment. You laugh when someone falls on their face as you relate to the feeling of “I’m really glad I’m not in that position right now!”. And you laugh when someone shares a struggle that you experience as well, because you relate to their frustration. It’s been about relatability ever since the beginning of time. If you aren’t relatable, you won’t get many laughs.
Although specific instances of what any one person finds funny are completely subjective, there are some themes that can be identified as “funny” throughout all types of humor. To list a few, we have: good timing (or bad), self-deprecation, wit, observational comments, and physical comedy. When listed so simply, you’d assume anyone can take a crack at being funny, but you’d be wrong. These “skills” I’ve listed take time to develop, and they have to be developed naturally to work. And to develop these skills naturally, you have to have a multitude of experiences that allows you to sympathize with people of all walks of life.
Attractive people just simply don’t go through the same types of experiences as you or I (assuming you’re also mid). They grew up constantly being reinforced by people all around, telling them what they had was enough, which unknowingly stumped their progress when it comes to developing a sense of humor. They were never rejected in middle school. They never had to win a group of people over only using their humor. They’re ability to succeed based of their looks alone creates a gap between middies, above middies, and below middies alike.
So unfortunately, attractive people are not relatable, at least not as relatable as us common folk, which means they aren’t as funny.
Other Things to Consider
Although attractive people have lacked rejection throughout their life, they are still human beings, and they do maintain the ability to be relatable in some other ways. At some point, you might recall having seen a handsome fella cracking bland jokes and getting a group to laugh. A situation like this seems like it disproves my entire argument, but I assure you that what you witnessed was a textbook case of “funny fraudulence”.
You see, attractive people have the ability to learn to be funny through practicing the craft in order to flirt and charm others, rather than becoming funny as a coping/defense mechanism formed from years of childhood trauma and rejection. It’s the equivalent of taking swimming lessons from Michael Phelps whilst wearing floaties compared to a toddler being tossed into the water to fend for themselves. If the toddler ends up a decent swimmer it’s at least respectable, right? They had the odds stacked against them, and they earned it.
This brings me to my last point: I think a lot of people consider humor and “being funny” as a selective social club. To be considered funny is a positive thing, it’s considered a privilege, and frankly I don’t think the majority of people want to give super attractive people another thing to be “up” on, simply because they know they don’t need it.
Conclusion
Just to be clear, especially to any super attractive people who might be reading this: attractive people can be funny. Just not as funny as average looking people, and the reason is because you aren’t as relatable. Maybe in the near future there can be a comedy club where the only form of payment is face card, where no ugly person can cast their judgement. But until then- ain’t nobody laughing!
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Featured Blog Post #2:
3 Signs You’re A Pathetic Loser Who Should Give Up On Their Dreams
Have you ever wondered if it was ever meant to happen to you in the first place? If some people were born to change the world reach their dreams- and you just aren’t one of those people? If you have, theres a good chance you could be absolutely correct!
All you have to do to find out, is to read the following signs and connect them to your real life. If you successfully connect 2 or more of the following 3 signs, you will officially be dubbed a pathetic loser who should give up on their dreams!
#1: You Procrastinate Everything
Well of course Monday doesn’t work for you because you’re scheduled to participate in that wild goose chase. Can’t cancel that again.
Tuesday you’re investigating a red herring, and you can cross Wednesday off the list since you’re already booked to go on a fools errand.
Thursday never works because you save that day for dilly dallying, followed by a long session of horsing around on Friday.
And you’d love to get work done on the weekend but Saturdays are reserved for Tom foolery, and you walk your fish every Sunday!
Maybe you should just read the rest of this tomorrow…
You’re confident enough to dream big, and maybe even construct a plan of attack, but you just can’t seem to get started. You’re days generally look the same: You get up, go to work, daydream, come home, do nothing, and go to bed. You consistently plan to make changes to your life that will put you closer to your dreams, you just don’t take action.
In your mind you have tricked yourself into believing that planning for your success is enough, and that you’ll get it done eventually. This creates a false sense of security, removing any and all sense of urgency you should be feeling. Most people value their time, and avoid wasting it- but it’s clear you don’t value yours. Luckily, nobody else cares how you spend your time, so as long as you’re ok with wasting it you can kick your feet up and relax.
#2: You Constantly Make Excuses For Yourself
“I’m a hard worker I swear! The universe is just against me!” Poor you.
“If my subway sandwich engineer hadn’t loaded that sandwich I ate the other day with so much mayonnaise then my hands wouldn’t have been so greasy and I wouldn’t have dropped my coffee mug on the ground! And after I dropped the mug I had to clean it up and it made me late for work which made me rush through my first three clients which made one of them get snappy with me which made me yell at them in front of everyone which made me lose like- five of my clients through no fault of my own! Thanks a lot Subway.” Get a grip.
You blame everything and everyone but yourself for your shortcomings, and you’ve convinced yourself that if things were just a little different then you could have it all. You use this mindset to stop yourself from trying new things, citing your past failed attempts as reason to stop trying. You hate the idea of responsibility, and will do anything you can to avoid it.
If theres one positive thing to say about you; it’s that you’re creative. You’re the author of some of the most colorful excuses that can fit perfectly into any lie you need to tell yourself or anyone else. If only you put half as much energy into getting stuff done as you do crafting reasons why you shouldn’t have to.
#3: You’re Terrified Of Failure
“Well what will Jimmy from high school think of me if I fail? What if my ex girlfriend sees and gets the ick? Everyone will think I’m a loser!” Nobody gives a shit about you, stop thinking they do.
You love the idea of success, but can’t stand the thought of your shortcomings being the talk of the town. You have this strange delusion where you believe you’re the center of the universe, and everyone is sitting around their televisions at night watching you’re life unfold like a failed revival of The Truman Show.
You’re biggest fear is going all in and failing, not because of the failure itself but because of people’s opinion of you. You’re worried if they see you fail they’ll think you’re a loser, and theres nothing you care about more than the opinions of random people who don’t even know you.
You’ve thought it over extensively and you’ve come to the conclusion that your pride is too important, and your ego is too fragile to ever put yourself in a position where you risk failing publicly.
Conclusion
Congratulations! You officially have the ability to tell if you are a pathetic loser who should give up on their dreams. Hopefully your findings please you, but even if they don’t you might be interested in the following information: it’s all a choice. Whether you matched with one, two, or all three of the warning signs above, it’s not too late to change your ways.
Just don’t fail, everyone will laugh at you.
*DISCLAIMER* This article sat in my drafts for 3 weeks.
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Featured Blog Post #2:
The Most Infamous Set in Comedy History
The date was June 22nd, 1997, and Norm Macdonald was set to headline a clean comedy event (billed as “family night”) at the University of Iowa, alongside fellow SNL cast members Jim Breuer and Darrell Hammond. The show was open to those playing in a big golf tournament in Iowa city that weekend, as well as to any member of the public who wanted to see their favorite SNL stars perform live. It should be noted that Norm was personally invited to the golf tournament by the governor of Iowa himself, which he begrudgingly agreed to.
Around 1,300 people packed like sardines into Hancher auditorium at the University of Iowa that night- most of them young children with their families, even some elderly, all beaming with excitement to see their SNL hero Norm Macdonald. Hammond and Breuer went first, and things were going swimmingly. It was assumed by the organizers that the three men were to perform acts similar to what they have seen many a time on SNL, and thats exactly what they were experiencing thus far. Hammond did his famous impressions, Breuer stuck to his “family night” PG routine, and the crowd was eating it up. Things were going perfectly- until Norm walked on stage.
A newspaper published the next day estimated that 80% of the crowd walked out during Norm’s set that night. Mothers grabbed their children while covering their ears and ushered them quickly to the exits. The elderly shook their heads as they hobbled their way out of earshot. On a podcast with Theo Von, Jim Brauer claimed it looked as if a fire alarm had gone off. The next morning, the athletic director at the school who’s named Bob Bowlsby, released a public apology to all who were in attendance, exclaiming “to call it off color would be a rather significant understatement”. The situation was so bad, that the governor took to live television to condemn Norm for his set, where he publicly rescinded his offer to play in the golf tournament with him that weekend.
So what did he actually say?
Unfortunately, there is no recording from that night, but we have testaments from those in attendance, as well as Norm Macdonald himself which give us a pretty clear idea of what his act consisted of. A man named Mike Bridenstine who was in attendance that night claims in a podcast with Tom Segura that Norm walked onto the stage, and lead with:
“Yea I used to be married to my wife, and I used to uh, jack off to porn more than I fucked my wife”.
At which point people start looking around, probably looking for the family friendly comedy they had came for. Norm continued with:
“Yea, this one porn I saw was a… a beautiful woman gets fucked by a pig. Big fat pig fucks a beautiful woman.”
According to Birdenstine, people were already lining out not thirty seconds into his act. In an interview with Norm Macdonald, Norm explained how this joke continued: “Well I said I feel sorry for the animal, because, you know, they get to have sex with a super hot lady and then the next day they bring ’em back and they have to fuck another pig.”
Jim Brauer stated on Theo Von’s podcast that about 15 minutes into Norms set, he made a comment about the diminishing audience. Brauer says Norm threw his hands up and said:
“Jesus christ, whaddya want? Fuckin’ airplane jokes? Whaddya want fuckin’ 711 jokes? Jesus christ. Fuck outta here.”
Although there isn’t a true recording, there is a recorded set from the same timeframe with similar material, which seems to be the closest we’ll ever get to hearing what happened on that fateful summer night. That video is linked below, and you should definitely check it out.
One question that may come to mind for some people, is “why”? Why would Norm Macdonald headline at a family friendly comedy event filled with innocent fans who idolized him, just to perform his most vile material? Well, I think the answer is pretty simple: He thought it was hilarious, and so do we.
“What do you want me to talk about- losing my luggage at the airport?”
-Norm Macdonald
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